Bless My Heart

I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.... IM A TERRIBLE BLOGGER!!!!

I'm starting to notice a pattern here.... I begin each of my blogs with an apology for not blogging. I REALLY need Kate to be done with camp and get blogging again to take the pressure off of me! oye.

So another month of my weight loss adventure has gone by and down another 10lbs! Yippie! Slow and steady wins the race right?? I hope so otherwise I'm screwed. I have some picture updates! So my personal trainer took a pic of me of my first day with her and then took another pic after 2 months. We accidentally forgot about taking a picture after a month. whoops and we take another pic next Monday so if its good I will post it later.

I can't believe I am actually posting these pictures on here... they are HORRIBLE pictures but they are my reality and although I am not exactly proud of them, they are part of my journey and therefore need to be up here. I mean, she could have at least used better lighting and a better angle to help a sister out... I swear my PT's goal was to make me look as bad as possible. I always tell her that my final weight loss picture will be of me in a bathing suit... she thinks I am kidding. Guess what. I'm not! Tiny little bikini... HERE I COME!!! (ok so that won't be for like 2 more years at this rate and I will not last that long blogging, but I promise, I will post that shit on facebook because I will look hoooooooooooot!!) Oh and lets all remember that these pictures were taken right before my workout in the gym, so looking hot and sexy wasn't exactly on my mind. Don't judge my outfit, hair and lack of makeup! Who looks good at the gym anyways??? NO ONE!



Ok here it goes....



Before                                    After 2 Months


Go Colts!!!!

and a lovely shot from behind....

Before                                    After 2 months

Well I've had just about enough public embarrassment for one day so I am going to do us all a favor and stop posting pictures of myself in all my glory. I can almost hear everyone out there saying it... "bless her heart". Bless my heart is right! We should all just be happy my poor little heart didnt give out at some point... so yes, bless it please! The good news is that I will NEVER look like the "before" pictures EVER again. It can only get better from here, right?? This Treasure loves shrinking.

These Shows Should Be Illegal.

Good news: I am officially down 33lbs! Actually, according to the scale its closer to 40lbs but I am pretty sure 7 of those pounds have been from sweating all day and night for the last week due to this weather. 100lbs to go to get to my goal!!

Ok, so I really really really wanted to write some awesome and inspiring post this week, but it's 102 degrees out, my air conditioning is broken and I keep watching stupid weight loss tv shows... so I am a bit grumpy.

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! DO NOT WATCH SHOWS ABOUT FAT PEOPLE LOSING INSANE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT IF YOU HAVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT TO LOSE!!!

These shows should be illegal! You know what shows I am talking about... Biggest Loser... Extreme Makeover: Fat Person Edition...  I get it, it is inspiring to watch a 500lb person become skinny without weightloss surgery and blah blah blah. The only things these shows do are make skinny people feel better about themselves (no offense skinny people, I love you) and make fat people feel worse about themselves. I mean, yes, I am sure some obese people out there get a bit inspired by seeing that it is possible to lose 200+ pounds without surgery, but holy moly, it is soooo crazy to think that a normal person can lose 90lbs in 90 days. I WISH!!!! I have never been big on watching Biggest Loser, but seriously, I have no cable tv and there is NOTHING on tv so I have now watched stupid Extreme Makeover: Fat Person Edition two weeks in a row. ugh

I walked into the gym the other day and asked my trainer why I am not able to lose 90lbs in 90 days and she just laughed at me. Apparently its possible only if you have 5-8 hours a day to spend in the gym, which I dont, so there goes my dream of getting super skinny super quick.

Another reason I hate these shows is because they scare the living daylights out of me. These people are having to get MAJOR reconstructive surgery after their weightloss. Seriously that wasn't even on my mind when I started this whole adventure. I never thought I was heavy enough to have to deal with that, I didn't think that I had destroyed my body so much that it would be forever destroyed. However, some of these stories I have been reading about and watching on tv are about people who weigh less than me and they are getting full body lifts?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Arms, sure... boobs, absolutely.... but entire body lifts? OH HELL NO.

I thought the weight loss part would be the hardest part, I never thought about all the possible surgeries and scars and financial costs that would follow. The good news is that I am still young so lets all say a quick prayer that my skin has that youthful elasticity thing going on! I also am not a smoker or a sunbather, which they say help too. I know this sounds odd, but I can totally understand why some people would rather just stay fat. When you are fat, you are essentially invisible. People don't really stare at you or say anything to you, they just completely ignore you and act like you dont exist. I cant imagine how hard it would be to become a skinny person with excess skin sagging all over. That is something people would stare at and whisper about, and that would be the more embarassing than just being fat. To work SOO hard to get skinny and healthy and STILL not be able to wear a bathing suit or a skirt or a tank top... I can't imagine anything more heartbreaking. That is my biggest fear. They say you are only given one body, be good to it, but what does one do if they have destroyed it beyond repair?

 I know I am jumping the gun here, I mean seriously, who knows how my skin is going to look afterwards. I could be blessed with very forgiving skin. COME ON GOOD GENES!! But juuuuust to be safe, if yall have an extra minute...say a little prayer for me... I can use all the help I can get.