I Hate My Sister.

Ok, ok, I don't really hate my sister... its just that she is the one making me do this blog and well, to be honest, I hate blogs.

Let this be a warning, I don't read blogs and sure as hell had no intention of EVER writing one so I'm not sure if I am doing this right!

So if this sucks...IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I SELL FIREWALLS AND ROUTERS! I AM NOT A WRITER! It is also not my fault if there are spelling and grammar issues, like I said, I'm in Sales, I am not a teacher (or any other profession that requires a knowledge of proper english), oh, and another reason there could be possible spelling mistakes is because OH MY HOLY GOD MY BODY HURTS. My ENTIRE body, serioiusly every inch, it even hurts to type this, so I can't be held responsible for spelling mistakes, it hurts to much to hit the "delete" button.

I know what you are saying out there... "Marissa has finally lost it, she is 100% crazy, what the hell is she talking about? Since when is having your entire body is pain an excuse for poor spelling? And what on God's green earth has she done to make every inch of her hurt so badly? What a freak". Considering this is what my blog is going to be about, I guess it is time to fill you in. Shall I explain?

My name is Marissa and I am fat. Since some people are uncomfortable with that term let me see if I can find a term everyone is comfortable with... overweight, chubby, big girl, plus sized, portly, stocky, well insulated (my personal fav), tubby, obese, gordita (for my latin readers), fleshy, ect...

No matter how you spin it, I need to lose weight, and I am not talking about like 10lbs. I am talking about SERIOUS weight. All you skinny bitches out there that bitch and moan about wanting to lose 10lbs or wanting to just "tighten up" can suck it, because I am about to lose the weight equivalant to you! Ugh, I hate you all.

Anyhooo, I have hired myself a personal trainer 3 days a week and she scares the living daylights out of me. She aint messing around yall. She does not appreciate a full figured woman and is on a one-woman mission to rid this earth of over-weight people... starting with me. YIKES!




This is my PT. Scary right?!?! ahh

(I stole this pic off her website, I hope I don't get sued! ekk!)



                                  

She is the reason I can't move and can hardly type! She tried to kill me this week, TWICE! I seriously feel bad for the person that lives above, below and next to my apartment's gym because I am pretty sure I sounded like I was pushing twins out of me while doing planks. They are the devil's exercise. I tried to explain to her that I was too fat to do them but she is heartless and suffers from selective hearing and made me do them anyways.Can you believe that?! Do you feel bad for me yet?!?

She won, I lost. Epic fail. I have a feeling she will win every time until I am skinny. Luckily for her, I am okay losing these battles as long as I lose weight at the same time. And well, that is what this blog is for... to document what I assume will be a funny and hopefully entertaining journey to become a super hot, stunningly beautiful, shrunken Treasure.