So, lets see... where did we leave off?? hmmm... it has been sooo long. Hopefully everyone is back reading Kate's blog? Takes the pressure off of me :-)
Well let me take a second to get you up to speed. I have officially lost 56lbs. Hooray!
Let's be honest, 56lbs sounds like a ton, but if you look at the percentage of weight loss, it isn't THAT insane. I love that I have lost 56lbs,don't get me wrong, but I still want to lose another 70lbs. Then, and only then, will I be SUPER happy!
Here is the thing though... losing weight is E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E. Holy hell. I mean first of all, paying my awesome personal trainer to stalk me and make sure I show up at the gym at least 3 days a week costs a pretty penny. I am very lucky that I can afford her, she is worth her weight in gold. It really is priceless if you ask me, but not something every person can afford. Also, eating healthy food isn't exactly cheap. I totally get why poor people are always fat. It is waaay cheaper to grab fastfood every night for dinner. However, the most expensive part of the whole thing, is buying new clothes every month! I know what you are saying "well Marissa, you don't have to go buy a whole new wardrobe every 5 weeks" and that is partly true, but here are my options... 1. wear clothes that are too big and baggy and look like a hobo or 2. buy new pants every month
Trying to save myself a few bucks, I decided to take 5 hours out of my weekend and redo my closet. I really am proud of myself for doing such a thing without my Adderall. That being said, it would have probably taken me half the time had I been on my meds :-( But that's missing the point.
I took EVERYTHING out of my closet and started from scratch. I tried on every single article of clothing I own. It is amazing all the clothes that had gone missing deep in the depths of my closet. When Stacey and Clinton tell you to try shopping in your own closet, they aren't kidding, it really works!! I found so many things that I had totally forgotten about. I own a pair of jeans in almost every size they make. I am just going to slowly work my way down the sizes. I CANT WAIT!
Cleaning out my closet was both a blessing and a curse. It was a great ego boost realizing how many things were too big for me and sliding on a pair of jeans that hadn't fit in for a year. But it also kind of sucked because A LOT of things were too big and ended up in my "Donate" pile, or as I call it, my "Triple the Plus Size Section at Goodwill" pile. Some fat women out there are about to inherit a fantastic plus size wardrobe because of me :-) But now I am stuck in this wardrobe limbo area.... Half my clothes are too big for me and the other half are just a bit too snug. So I either look like a decently dressed homeless person or like a chubby hooker. What a pickle. My typical solution is to go buy new things but seriously, it is just a waste of money. Since I quit wearing super tight clothes in middle school, ok ok fine, maybe high school....I have decided on just wearing baggy clothes. I had to explain it to my doorman because he was judging me. I could see it in his eyes. I also felt the need to stand up and explain it to my whole team at work. God forbid everyone think I have turned into a slob. Luckily I work with a bunch of older men who didn't notice my new homeless look, or that I had lost weight. Seriously, guys are so clueless.
Oh and another annoying thing... I have managed to lose weight in my feet, so now my shoes don't even fit!!!! How odd and annoying is that? Really feet? REALLY?? I literally walk out of my stilettos. Hmph
Don't even get me started on the fact that I have to buy all new bras... $$$
I swear I have a point to this blog though....
My point is, I would pay any amount of money to be able to donate every article of clothing in my closet right now and go buy all new skinny clothes! And remember this the next time people are complaining about obesity in America... not that it is an excuse... but losing weight is expensive and it isn't something everyone can afford. I consider myself very fortunate that I can.
*I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes, it is late, I am tired and this stupid blog doesn't have spell check
Monday, October 1, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Just Part of the Journey
Have you ever thought of the process of gaining weight? Like have you ever looked at an obese person and said "how did they get to this point?" or "that can never happen to me!" because I use to all the time when I was skinny. And even now looking back I am still like "how the hell did this happen?? and why didn't someone hold a freaking intervention?!?!". But lets be honest, that's an awkward convo to have with someone and I am sure it wouldn't have gone over well with me even if someone had tried. In fact, maybe they did and I hated it so much I blocked it out of my memory... I occasionally do that :-)
No matter what, it isn't something anyone has really asked me until recently. Now I have a super nosy PT, who tends to moonlight as my therapist, and she asked me flat out, "Marissa, how did you gain this weight? when did it start? did something happen that triggered it? why did you let it get this out of hand?"
And I had to think about it for quite awhile. Part of the answer is easy... there isn't one specific thing caused it (other than poor eating habits and a lazy life style) and there isn't anyone to blame for it (other than me). Now I am sure Oprah or Dr. Phil would connect it to some deep underlying issue or something, but really, who has the time for that stuff? Not to mention, there are reasons for gaining the weight and then a whole different reason for keeping it on.
I, however, after lots of nights laying in bed thinking about it, have uncovered how it all kinda happened. It was a combination of being on my own at college and having to cook on my own mixed with large quantities of alcohol and pizza at 3am compiled with all my best friends being involved in their sororities and disappearing and being busy and then smushed together with a wardrobe of yoga pants and sweatshirts. Odd right? well at least the bit about yoga pants and sweatshirts? Ok let me explain. First of all, that is what every girl at college wore to class. Yoga pants, IU sweatshirt and uggs. It was like our uniform. Great thing... its comfy as hell. Bad thing: its hard to tell how much weight you've gained because the pants just stretch to cover your now giant ass and the sweatshirt hides a multitude of sins. So that answers the question of how it happened without me noticing. Also, I was surrounded by friends that didn't care what I looked like. They loved me for me, which is awesome, but explains why no one said "oh hey Marissa, you are getting a bit wide". My family probably wanted to say something but lets not forget I was 9 hours away from them, saw them twice a year and would have ripped them a new one for saying something. I woke up one day, and BOOM, I was fat. Crazy, I know, but that it how it happened. It wasn't a slow and steady process, it felt like it happened overnight, which is the scariest part of the whole thing.
Another interesting detail in all this weight gain is that I suffer from what I call "backwards anorexia". So anorexics don't eat and still see themselves as fat in the mirror, right? Well, I eat and eat and eat and I see myself as skinny in the mirror. Strange right? I think there is a more technical term for it... maybe some type of body dysmorphia? I don't know, I have a business degree, not a psych degree. No matter what, it has its pros and cons. Pro: when I look in the mirror I see myself as I was in high school and still think I am hot! Great for self esteem. Con: I had no sense of how heavy I had become. So this also explains how I let myself become so overweight... I never really saw it. I'd look in the mirror and see the girl I was when I was 19. I mean yes, I knew I was gaining weight deep down because my pant size was increasing and all the sudden I had this extra chin making appearances. But you would be surprised how easy it is to ignore all that. It wasn't until I started seeing pictures of myself or catching my shadow or reflection in a window that it started to sink in, and by then, the damage had been done.
I think a lot about how different my life would be if I had not gained the weight. If I would be happy... or happier I guess. How much would that one thing about my life change things for me? Change for the better? Maybe, maybe not. A significant part of me thinks I needed to gain the weight, that somehow it was part of my journey and that it saved me from something terrible that would have happened had I been skinny. I never really liked who I was when I was skinny. My priorities were screwed up, I wasn't very nice and had no compassion for other people. Maybe gaining weight made me a better person, maybe I just grew up. Either way, I like who I am now compared to who I was. It is hard to say who I would be and what I would be doing if I had never gained the weight, but I have a feeling I would be worse off...Although I think most people think the opposite. Biggest challenge now is convincing myself that I will not become that person again when I am skinny. Deep down I equate "skinny Marissa" with a person I didn't like and I have recently come to terms with the fact that I am not that person anymore and won't become her if I lose the weight. Therefore, it is time. Time to do this once and for all. I feel like I have come full circle and it was part of my journey and something that will always be apart of me, however, it is time to start a new phase, a much skinnier phase, a phase full of tank tops, summer dresses and skinny jeans!!
No matter what, it isn't something anyone has really asked me until recently. Now I have a super nosy PT, who tends to moonlight as my therapist, and she asked me flat out, "Marissa, how did you gain this weight? when did it start? did something happen that triggered it? why did you let it get this out of hand?"
And I had to think about it for quite awhile. Part of the answer is easy... there isn't one specific thing caused it (other than poor eating habits and a lazy life style) and there isn't anyone to blame for it (other than me). Now I am sure Oprah or Dr. Phil would connect it to some deep underlying issue or something, but really, who has the time for that stuff? Not to mention, there are reasons for gaining the weight and then a whole different reason for keeping it on.
I, however, after lots of nights laying in bed thinking about it, have uncovered how it all kinda happened. It was a combination of being on my own at college and having to cook on my own mixed with large quantities of alcohol and pizza at 3am compiled with all my best friends being involved in their sororities and disappearing and being busy and then smushed together with a wardrobe of yoga pants and sweatshirts. Odd right? well at least the bit about yoga pants and sweatshirts? Ok let me explain. First of all, that is what every girl at college wore to class. Yoga pants, IU sweatshirt and uggs. It was like our uniform. Great thing... its comfy as hell. Bad thing: its hard to tell how much weight you've gained because the pants just stretch to cover your now giant ass and the sweatshirt hides a multitude of sins. So that answers the question of how it happened without me noticing. Also, I was surrounded by friends that didn't care what I looked like. They loved me for me, which is awesome, but explains why no one said "oh hey Marissa, you are getting a bit wide". My family probably wanted to say something but lets not forget I was 9 hours away from them, saw them twice a year and would have ripped them a new one for saying something. I woke up one day, and BOOM, I was fat. Crazy, I know, but that it how it happened. It wasn't a slow and steady process, it felt like it happened overnight, which is the scariest part of the whole thing.
Another interesting detail in all this weight gain is that I suffer from what I call "backwards anorexia". So anorexics don't eat and still see themselves as fat in the mirror, right? Well, I eat and eat and eat and I see myself as skinny in the mirror. Strange right? I think there is a more technical term for it... maybe some type of body dysmorphia? I don't know, I have a business degree, not a psych degree. No matter what, it has its pros and cons. Pro: when I look in the mirror I see myself as I was in high school and still think I am hot! Great for self esteem. Con: I had no sense of how heavy I had become. So this also explains how I let myself become so overweight... I never really saw it. I'd look in the mirror and see the girl I was when I was 19. I mean yes, I knew I was gaining weight deep down because my pant size was increasing and all the sudden I had this extra chin making appearances. But you would be surprised how easy it is to ignore all that. It wasn't until I started seeing pictures of myself or catching my shadow or reflection in a window that it started to sink in, and by then, the damage had been done.
I think a lot about how different my life would be if I had not gained the weight. If I would be happy... or happier I guess. How much would that one thing about my life change things for me? Change for the better? Maybe, maybe not. A significant part of me thinks I needed to gain the weight, that somehow it was part of my journey and that it saved me from something terrible that would have happened had I been skinny. I never really liked who I was when I was skinny. My priorities were screwed up, I wasn't very nice and had no compassion for other people. Maybe gaining weight made me a better person, maybe I just grew up. Either way, I like who I am now compared to who I was. It is hard to say who I would be and what I would be doing if I had never gained the weight, but I have a feeling I would be worse off...Although I think most people think the opposite. Biggest challenge now is convincing myself that I will not become that person again when I am skinny. Deep down I equate "skinny Marissa" with a person I didn't like and I have recently come to terms with the fact that I am not that person anymore and won't become her if I lose the weight. Therefore, it is time. Time to do this once and for all. I feel like I have come full circle and it was part of my journey and something that will always be apart of me, however, it is time to start a new phase, a much skinnier phase, a phase full of tank tops, summer dresses and skinny jeans!!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Bless My Heart
I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.... IM A TERRIBLE BLOGGER!!!!
I'm starting to notice a pattern here.... I begin each of my blogs with an apology for not blogging. I REALLY need Kate to be done with camp and get blogging again to take the pressure off of me! oye.
So another month of my weight loss adventure has gone by and down another 10lbs! Yippie! Slow and steady wins the race right?? I hope so otherwise I'm screwed. I have some picture updates! So my personal trainer took a pic of me of my first day with her and then took another pic after 2 months. We accidentally forgot about taking a picture after a month. whoops and we take another pic next Monday so if its good I will post it later.
I can't believe I am actually posting these pictures on here... they are HORRIBLE pictures but they are my reality and although I am not exactly proud of them, they are part of my journey and therefore need to be up here. I mean, she could have at least used better lighting and a better angle to help a sister out... I swear my PT's goal was to make me look as bad as possible. I always tell her that my final weight loss picture will be of me in a bathing suit... she thinks I am kidding. Guess what. I'm not! Tiny little bikini... HERE I COME!!! (ok so that won't be for like 2 more years at this rate and I will not last that long blogging, but I promise, I will post that shit on facebook because I will look hoooooooooooot!!) Oh and lets all remember that these pictures were taken right before my workout in the gym, so looking hot and sexy wasn't exactly on my mind. Don't judge my outfit, hair and lack of makeup! Who looks good at the gym anyways??? NO ONE!
Ok here it goes....
Go Colts!!!!
and a lovely shot from behind....
Well I've had just about enough public embarrassment for one day so I am going to do us all a favor and stop posting pictures of myself in all my glory. I can almost hear everyone out there saying it... "bless her heart". Bless my heart is right! We should all just be happy my poor little heart didnt give out at some point... so yes, bless it please! The good news is that I will NEVER look like the "before" pictures EVER again. It can only get better from here, right?? This Treasure loves shrinking.
I'm starting to notice a pattern here.... I begin each of my blogs with an apology for not blogging. I REALLY need Kate to be done with camp and get blogging again to take the pressure off of me! oye.
So another month of my weight loss adventure has gone by and down another 10lbs! Yippie! Slow and steady wins the race right?? I hope so otherwise I'm screwed. I have some picture updates! So my personal trainer took a pic of me of my first day with her and then took another pic after 2 months. We accidentally forgot about taking a picture after a month. whoops and we take another pic next Monday so if its good I will post it later.
I can't believe I am actually posting these pictures on here... they are HORRIBLE pictures but they are my reality and although I am not exactly proud of them, they are part of my journey and therefore need to be up here. I mean, she could have at least used better lighting and a better angle to help a sister out... I swear my PT's goal was to make me look as bad as possible. I always tell her that my final weight loss picture will be of me in a bathing suit... she thinks I am kidding. Guess what. I'm not! Tiny little bikini... HERE I COME!!! (ok so that won't be for like 2 more years at this rate and I will not last that long blogging, but I promise, I will post that shit on facebook because I will look hoooooooooooot!!) Oh and lets all remember that these pictures were taken right before my workout in the gym, so looking hot and sexy wasn't exactly on my mind. Don't judge my outfit, hair and lack of makeup! Who looks good at the gym anyways??? NO ONE!
Ok here it goes....
 |
| Before After 2 Months |
Go Colts!!!!
and a lovely shot from behind....
 |
| Before After 2 months |
Well I've had just about enough public embarrassment for one day so I am going to do us all a favor and stop posting pictures of myself in all my glory. I can almost hear everyone out there saying it... "bless her heart". Bless my heart is right! We should all just be happy my poor little heart didnt give out at some point... so yes, bless it please! The good news is that I will NEVER look like the "before" pictures EVER again. It can only get better from here, right?? This Treasure loves shrinking.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
These Shows Should Be Illegal.
Good news: I am officially down 33lbs! Actually, according to the scale its closer to 40lbs but I am pretty sure 7 of those pounds have been from sweating all day and night for the last week due to this weather. 100lbs to go to get to my goal!!
Ok, so I really really really wanted to write some awesome and inspiring post this week, but it's 102 degrees out, my air conditioning is broken and I keep watching stupid weight loss tv shows... so I am a bit grumpy.
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! DO NOT WATCH SHOWS ABOUT FAT PEOPLE LOSING INSANE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT IF YOU HAVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT TO LOSE!!!
These shows should be illegal! You know what shows I am talking about... Biggest Loser... Extreme Makeover: Fat Person Edition... I get it, it is inspiring to watch a 500lb person become skinny without weightloss surgery and blah blah blah. The only things these shows do are make skinny people feel better about themselves (no offense skinny people, I love you) and make fat people feel worse about themselves. I mean, yes, I am sure some obese people out there get a bit inspired by seeing that it is possible to lose 200+ pounds without surgery, but holy moly, it is soooo crazy to think that a normal person can lose 90lbs in 90 days. I WISH!!!! I have never been big on watching Biggest Loser, but seriously, I have no cable tv and there is NOTHING on tv so I have now watched stupid Extreme Makeover: Fat Person Edition two weeks in a row. ugh
I walked into the gym the other day and asked my trainer why I am not able to lose 90lbs in 90 days and she just laughed at me. Apparently its possible only if you have 5-8 hours a day to spend in the gym, which I dont, so there goes my dream of getting super skinny super quick.
Another reason I hate these shows is because they scare the living daylights out of me. These people are having to get MAJOR reconstructive surgery after their weightloss. Seriously that wasn't even on my mind when I started this whole adventure. I never thought I was heavy enough to have to deal with that, I didn't think that I had destroyed my body so much that it would be forever destroyed. However, some of these stories I have been reading about and watching on tv are about people who weigh less than me and they are getting full body lifts?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Arms, sure... boobs, absolutely.... but entire body lifts? OH HELL NO.
I thought the weight loss part would be the hardest part, I never thought about all the possible surgeries and scars and financial costs that would follow. The good news is that I am still young so lets all say a quick prayer that my skin has that youthful elasticity thing going on! I also am not a smoker or a sunbather, which they say help too. I know this sounds odd, but I can totally understand why some people would rather just stay fat. When you are fat, you are essentially invisible. People don't really stare at you or say anything to you, they just completely ignore you and act like you dont exist. I cant imagine how hard it would be to become a skinny person with excess skin sagging all over. That is something people would stare at and whisper about, and that would be the more embarassing than just being fat. To work SOO hard to get skinny and healthy and STILL not be able to wear a bathing suit or a skirt or a tank top... I can't imagine anything more heartbreaking. That is my biggest fear. They say you are only given one body, be good to it, but what does one do if they have destroyed it beyond repair?
I know I am jumping the gun here, I mean seriously, who knows how my skin is going to look afterwards. I could be blessed with very forgiving skin. COME ON GOOD GENES!! But juuuuust to be safe, if yall have an extra minute...say a little prayer for me... I can use all the help I can get.
Ok, so I really really really wanted to write some awesome and inspiring post this week, but it's 102 degrees out, my air conditioning is broken and I keep watching stupid weight loss tv shows... so I am a bit grumpy.
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! DO NOT WATCH SHOWS ABOUT FAT PEOPLE LOSING INSANE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT IF YOU HAVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT TO LOSE!!!
These shows should be illegal! You know what shows I am talking about... Biggest Loser... Extreme Makeover: Fat Person Edition... I get it, it is inspiring to watch a 500lb person become skinny without weightloss surgery and blah blah blah. The only things these shows do are make skinny people feel better about themselves (no offense skinny people, I love you) and make fat people feel worse about themselves. I mean, yes, I am sure some obese people out there get a bit inspired by seeing that it is possible to lose 200+ pounds without surgery, but holy moly, it is soooo crazy to think that a normal person can lose 90lbs in 90 days. I WISH!!!! I have never been big on watching Biggest Loser, but seriously, I have no cable tv and there is NOTHING on tv so I have now watched stupid Extreme Makeover: Fat Person Edition two weeks in a row. ugh
I walked into the gym the other day and asked my trainer why I am not able to lose 90lbs in 90 days and she just laughed at me. Apparently its possible only if you have 5-8 hours a day to spend in the gym, which I dont, so there goes my dream of getting super skinny super quick.
Another reason I hate these shows is because they scare the living daylights out of me. These people are having to get MAJOR reconstructive surgery after their weightloss. Seriously that wasn't even on my mind when I started this whole adventure. I never thought I was heavy enough to have to deal with that, I didn't think that I had destroyed my body so much that it would be forever destroyed. However, some of these stories I have been reading about and watching on tv are about people who weigh less than me and they are getting full body lifts?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Arms, sure... boobs, absolutely.... but entire body lifts? OH HELL NO.
I thought the weight loss part would be the hardest part, I never thought about all the possible surgeries and scars and financial costs that would follow. The good news is that I am still young so lets all say a quick prayer that my skin has that youthful elasticity thing going on! I also am not a smoker or a sunbather, which they say help too. I know this sounds odd, but I can totally understand why some people would rather just stay fat. When you are fat, you are essentially invisible. People don't really stare at you or say anything to you, they just completely ignore you and act like you dont exist. I cant imagine how hard it would be to become a skinny person with excess skin sagging all over. That is something people would stare at and whisper about, and that would be the more embarassing than just being fat. To work SOO hard to get skinny and healthy and STILL not be able to wear a bathing suit or a skirt or a tank top... I can't imagine anything more heartbreaking. That is my biggest fear. They say you are only given one body, be good to it, but what does one do if they have destroyed it beyond repair?
I know I am jumping the gun here, I mean seriously, who knows how my skin is going to look afterwards. I could be blessed with very forgiving skin. COME ON GOOD GENES!! But juuuuust to be safe, if yall have an extra minute...say a little prayer for me... I can use all the help I can get.
Monday, June 18, 2012
It's the little things
Losing weight is hard. It never happens fast enough and the results are never noticeable enough... well to me at least. I mean dont get me wrong, I'm not delusional, I know I am not going to drop 20lbs over night, but a girl can still dream!! If I waited around to see the big differences in my weight loss, I may lose motivation and drive, so therefore I try to get excited about the little things. The things that seem trivial to some but are HUGE steps for me
For example, today I did a real push up!! Not a girly one or anything like that...I did a real life, army style, tough guy, push up. My personal trainer was making me do inch worms (my least favorite exercise EVER) and then, out of the blue, she stepped it up a notch and challenged me to do a girly push up in the middle of being an inch worm. However, my knee was bothering me so without thinking I just did a normal push up. Liz nearly fell off the bench she was sitting on. She was jumping all around as though I had just conquered Mt. Everest. Pretty sure she scared everyone else in the gym. So the good news is that I did a push up, the bad news is that now she knows I can do them and keeps making me do them! "Ummm... excuse me, do we have to do push ups just because I can?? Lets revisit the days when I couldn't do them!"
Also, I have officially retired a few pairs of pants!! Woohoo! A few pairs of workout pants, 2 pairs of dress pants and 1 pair of jeans... OFFICIALLY TOO BIG. Luckily for me I kept everything from the last time I lost some weight so I have a pair of jeans and slacks in every size down to my old high school size! I will be sooo happy to throw them all out. However Liz has asked me to keep a pair of my "before" pants and a shirt so that she can take one of those pics of me standing in one leg of my old pants, when Im skinny. Hahaha she has such high hopes for me!
And last but not least, my favorite small achievement. I walked from 6th Ave to 9th Ave, stood at a party for 2 hours, and then walked back to 6th Ave without my back hurting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This would have not been possible 2 months ago. Anyone that has walked around NYC with me, or anywhere for that matter, knows the back problems I deal with. It makes me never want to leave my apartment or go anywhere that involves a small walk. Now, don't get me wrong, Im pretty sure I am not able to go walk for miles and miles, but like I said... its the little things! 3 blocks are more than I could do 2 months ago. I'll take it!
I promise to try to blog more now that Kate has taken her summer hiatus. I know I cant make up for the lack of her blog, but I will try. I feel your pain, I am also going through withdrawal :-(
For example, today I did a real push up!! Not a girly one or anything like that...I did a real life, army style, tough guy, push up. My personal trainer was making me do inch worms (my least favorite exercise EVER) and then, out of the blue, she stepped it up a notch and challenged me to do a girly push up in the middle of being an inch worm. However, my knee was bothering me so without thinking I just did a normal push up. Liz nearly fell off the bench she was sitting on. She was jumping all around as though I had just conquered Mt. Everest. Pretty sure she scared everyone else in the gym. So the good news is that I did a push up, the bad news is that now she knows I can do them and keeps making me do them! "Ummm... excuse me, do we have to do push ups just because I can?? Lets revisit the days when I couldn't do them!"
Also, I have officially retired a few pairs of pants!! Woohoo! A few pairs of workout pants, 2 pairs of dress pants and 1 pair of jeans... OFFICIALLY TOO BIG. Luckily for me I kept everything from the last time I lost some weight so I have a pair of jeans and slacks in every size down to my old high school size! I will be sooo happy to throw them all out. However Liz has asked me to keep a pair of my "before" pants and a shirt so that she can take one of those pics of me standing in one leg of my old pants, when Im skinny. Hahaha she has such high hopes for me!
And last but not least, my favorite small achievement. I walked from 6th Ave to 9th Ave, stood at a party for 2 hours, and then walked back to 6th Ave without my back hurting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This would have not been possible 2 months ago. Anyone that has walked around NYC with me, or anywhere for that matter, knows the back problems I deal with. It makes me never want to leave my apartment or go anywhere that involves a small walk. Now, don't get me wrong, Im pretty sure I am not able to go walk for miles and miles, but like I said... its the little things! 3 blocks are more than I could do 2 months ago. I'll take it!
I promise to try to blog more now that Kate has taken her summer hiatus. I know I cant make up for the lack of her blog, but I will try. I feel your pain, I am also going through withdrawal :-(
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Lucky and Shrinking
I know, I know.... I haven't blogged in forever. Want to know why?
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN BUSY LOSING 23 FREAKING POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As Juju would say, "go you! go you! go you!".... Go me, go me, go me!
Yep, that's right people, this Treasure is officially shrinking. Now if I can just keep up this 20lbs a month thing, I will be a skinny minnie by Christmas. Ok, but lets keep it realistic here... maybe just 10lbs a month and I will be happy still. Either way, I will never be this weight again.
I even managed to drag myself to the gym a few times while in Marietta. Not to mention I am pretty sure 5 of the pounds I lost was due to nearly sweating to death every night. Scott likes to keep the house at a warm 79 degrees. Poor Penny was dying in her fur coat. Anyways it has been a great week. Down 23lbs, down a bunch of inches, BMI went down 4 points and got to spend the week hanging and being spoiled by Scott and Juju.
My personal trainer (who also thinks she is my shrink) pointed out a few things to me this week. She made me see how incredibly lucky I am to be in the situation I am. She really made me take a look at my life and helped me see that I am seriously fortunate. I have awesome friends who I love and who love me and entertain me to no end. I have a job that I absolutely adore and allows me to live the life I want. My dog is well behaved and is the best side-kick anyone could ask for. I have a great apartment and a car that works. And most importantly I have the best, most supportive, funniest family that anyone could ever ask for. My sister and her hubby are like the President and Vice President of my fan club. I'm not sure there are 2 bigger supporters out there. They tolerate my endless amounts of phone calls to update them on how my personal trainer tried to kill me. They even get excited for every pound I lose. It's fair though, after all, I listen to hours of my sister rambling on about frosting and turkeys and half marathons and camp and paint colors. And then there is Scott and Juju. How lost would I be without them?? Lord knows they are resposible for me turning into a functioning memeber of society. And bless them, they were soooo supportive when I was home. They could have eaten whatever they wanted all week but no, they followed my strict menu and never drifted. My food menu that my PT gives me isn't the most exciting menu out there. Pretty much the same meals over and over, but it didn't bother my mom and dad. They stuck it out like champs. I'm pretty sure they even cleaned out the pantry and fridge before I came home so that I wouldn't be tempted by anything. My dad didn't even get french fries when we went out to eat!!!! It was like being in the Twilight Zone... dododododo. It was really cute, Juju had to make cookies for a shower and trying to be supportive, she made the dough while I napped and then baked them while I slept in the next morning. It was probably best because I wanted to swan dive into the bowl of cookie dough. (Hey, give me a break, I'm only a month into this new life style.)
I never realized how important friends and family are in this process until my PT told me about her other clients. She has some clients that seriously struggle because their friends and family try to derail their weight loss. Lots of jealous and unsupportive people out there apparently. I'm lucky that my friends want what's best for me and know that I am not drinking alcohol right now and always offer up activities that dont center around going out to bars and parties. I am soo lucky that I don't have a crazy italian family that forces rich food down my throat and encourages me to "embrace my curves" when my curves are killing me. I'm lucky to have family members that are willing to go to the gym with me, that are willing to cook and eat the few things I can eat, and pick up my never ending phone calls to listen to me ramble on and on about what I had for dinner or what I did in the gym.
I am about as set up for success as anyone could be. This weight thing is my last hurdle. Even though I have a feeling that once I am skinny I am going to get hounded about finding a husband. I gave in on the weight loss thing, but I will be less likely to cave on the marriage issue. I don't want to get married until I'm 35 so dont even bother bringing it up :-)
So yea, I think it is safe to say I am a lucky girl and I have had a fantastic week.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE!!!!!!!!!
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN BUSY LOSING 23 FREAKING POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As Juju would say, "go you! go you! go you!".... Go me, go me, go me!
Yep, that's right people, this Treasure is officially shrinking. Now if I can just keep up this 20lbs a month thing, I will be a skinny minnie by Christmas. Ok, but lets keep it realistic here... maybe just 10lbs a month and I will be happy still. Either way, I will never be this weight again.
I even managed to drag myself to the gym a few times while in Marietta. Not to mention I am pretty sure 5 of the pounds I lost was due to nearly sweating to death every night. Scott likes to keep the house at a warm 79 degrees. Poor Penny was dying in her fur coat. Anyways it has been a great week. Down 23lbs, down a bunch of inches, BMI went down 4 points and got to spend the week hanging and being spoiled by Scott and Juju.
My personal trainer (who also thinks she is my shrink) pointed out a few things to me this week. She made me see how incredibly lucky I am to be in the situation I am. She really made me take a look at my life and helped me see that I am seriously fortunate. I have awesome friends who I love and who love me and entertain me to no end. I have a job that I absolutely adore and allows me to live the life I want. My dog is well behaved and is the best side-kick anyone could ask for. I have a great apartment and a car that works. And most importantly I have the best, most supportive, funniest family that anyone could ever ask for. My sister and her hubby are like the President and Vice President of my fan club. I'm not sure there are 2 bigger supporters out there. They tolerate my endless amounts of phone calls to update them on how my personal trainer tried to kill me. They even get excited for every pound I lose. It's fair though, after all, I listen to hours of my sister rambling on about frosting and turkeys and half marathons and camp and paint colors. And then there is Scott and Juju. How lost would I be without them?? Lord knows they are resposible for me turning into a functioning memeber of society. And bless them, they were soooo supportive when I was home. They could have eaten whatever they wanted all week but no, they followed my strict menu and never drifted. My food menu that my PT gives me isn't the most exciting menu out there. Pretty much the same meals over and over, but it didn't bother my mom and dad. They stuck it out like champs. I'm pretty sure they even cleaned out the pantry and fridge before I came home so that I wouldn't be tempted by anything. My dad didn't even get french fries when we went out to eat!!!! It was like being in the Twilight Zone... dododododo. It was really cute, Juju had to make cookies for a shower and trying to be supportive, she made the dough while I napped and then baked them while I slept in the next morning. It was probably best because I wanted to swan dive into the bowl of cookie dough. (Hey, give me a break, I'm only a month into this new life style.)
I never realized how important friends and family are in this process until my PT told me about her other clients. She has some clients that seriously struggle because their friends and family try to derail their weight loss. Lots of jealous and unsupportive people out there apparently. I'm lucky that my friends want what's best for me and know that I am not drinking alcohol right now and always offer up activities that dont center around going out to bars and parties. I am soo lucky that I don't have a crazy italian family that forces rich food down my throat and encourages me to "embrace my curves" when my curves are killing me. I'm lucky to have family members that are willing to go to the gym with me, that are willing to cook and eat the few things I can eat, and pick up my never ending phone calls to listen to me ramble on and on about what I had for dinner or what I did in the gym.
I am about as set up for success as anyone could be. This weight thing is my last hurdle. Even though I have a feeling that once I am skinny I am going to get hounded about finding a husband. I gave in on the weight loss thing, but I will be less likely to cave on the marriage issue. I don't want to get married until I'm 35 so dont even bother bringing it up :-)
So yea, I think it is safe to say I am a lucky girl and I have had a fantastic week.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
To All of My Skinny Friends...
Having been skinny once upon a time, I know that there are a LOT of things that all you skinny people out there take for granted. I did too. It's not your fault. I forgive you and your flat stomachs.
I took these things for granted too. It is only until you become fat that you realize how many things you are missing out on. Let me save you the headache of getting fat and just fill you in right now...
#1 Shopping at normal stores
When I was skinny the thought never even crossed my mind. I didn't know plus size stores existed. I am not sure where I thought fat people shopped. But let me tell you... I MISS THE GAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's the little things... like not being able to shop at the Gap or Anne Taylor or H&M or Banana. My sister's friend, Amy, has a cute little boutique and she is always posting the new dresses she gets in on Facebook and I want just about every single one of them. http://www.shopoliveonline.com/
I can NOT wait until the day I can place an order at her store. There is a good chance I will need a shopping intervention when I am skinny. I might get out of control. Someone call Dr. Phil!!
# 2 Wearing skinny jeans and tucking them into a fabulous leather boot
I know, I know... they make skinny jeans in plus size and they have wide calf boots... but just because they make them, doesn't mean they should be worn! Big girls should not wear skinny jeans. Period. I'm sorry! It ain't cute. Is it so much to ask for? The ability to wear some skinny jeans with a fab boot? or my Hunter wellies?or with a fabulous pair of stilettos? or a cute ballet flat? AHHH all you skinny bitches out there flaunting your small calves and toned thighs. I hate you, I hate you all.
# 3 Crossing your legs
Now, I REALLY never thought twice about this one until I was fat... fat people cant cross their legs. Crazy right??? If you have never noticed it before, pay attention and you will see it all the time now. We have to sit like men :-( I can't wait for the day that I can sit on the subway, or at a restaurant, or in a conference room with my right leg easily drapped over my left one. 3 weeks ago I couldn't do it at all. I am proud to announce that I can officially cross my legs but its not comfy and last about a min. Soon though, very soon I will be there.. I hope.
# 4 Tank tops
Yes, fat people can wear tank tops and yes they make them in our size. But they shouldnt, and I refuse. No one wants to see your nasty arm fat. Cover that flab up. I don't want to look at my own, let alone have everyone else see it. That is exactly why I have a beautiful collection of cardigans. My friends laugh at me because of my collection and everyone knows this about me. Who wears a cardigan to a keg party in the park in the middle of summer? ME! Who wears a cardigan to the pool? ME! Who wears a cardigan over a sequin dress on NYE? Me! Whatever, get over it, I am doing you a favor!!! Want me to slap you in the face with my arm fat? Didn't think so. However, it does make the hot summer months difficult. This better be my last summer of sweaters!
# 5 Airplane seats
Nothing makes me want to lose weight more than sitting in an airplane seat for 3 hours. OH MY HOLY GOD IT IS PAINFUL!!!!!!!! Everyone has the dreaded experience of sitting next to an overweight person on a plane. Skinny people bitch and moan about it, but guess what, it is even worse for us. First of all, its embarassing. We know we don't fit but we can't afford 1st class and we can't drive across country for business meetings. We get it. Cross your stupid little legs and put your hands in your tiny little lap and go to sleep. Geez. What you don't understand is how much it hurts us physically. Two arm rests cutting into your sides, spending most of the flight hugging yourself so that your body isn't imposing on the person next to you too much. Then your back starts to hurt because you are sitting like an idiot. I DREAD cross-country flights and until I lose weight, anything international is not even an option... for my sake and the sake of the person next to me
These are just a few examples... there are plenty more but I think you get the point!
So tonight or at Thanksgiving... or whenever you say what you are grateful for... remember these things. Consider yourself lucky that you have the means and self control to not let yourself ever have to experience being fat. It ain't all its cracked up to be :-) Don't get me wrong. I love my life and have absolutely enjoyed my fat years. But I am ready to be done with them. Time to get healthy before this stuff kills me.
And the next time you want to bitch and moan to me about how fat your think you are, just know that I am not listening because if you can fly to another country while wearing your skinny jeans from the Gap and a cute tank top without a cardigan, then you aren't fat. Find someone else to annoy because if you think you are fat at a size 6, 8, or 10 then what am I? A beached whale? Screw you :-) The good news is that I will be joining your skinny club soon. But you still won't be able to complain to me. Seriously, don't even try.
I took these things for granted too. It is only until you become fat that you realize how many things you are missing out on. Let me save you the headache of getting fat and just fill you in right now...
#1 Shopping at normal stores
When I was skinny the thought never even crossed my mind. I didn't know plus size stores existed. I am not sure where I thought fat people shopped. But let me tell you... I MISS THE GAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's the little things... like not being able to shop at the Gap or Anne Taylor or H&M or Banana. My sister's friend, Amy, has a cute little boutique and she is always posting the new dresses she gets in on Facebook and I want just about every single one of them. http://www.shopoliveonline.com/
I can NOT wait until the day I can place an order at her store. There is a good chance I will need a shopping intervention when I am skinny. I might get out of control. Someone call Dr. Phil!!
# 2 Wearing skinny jeans and tucking them into a fabulous leather boot
I know, I know... they make skinny jeans in plus size and they have wide calf boots... but just because they make them, doesn't mean they should be worn! Big girls should not wear skinny jeans. Period. I'm sorry! It ain't cute. Is it so much to ask for? The ability to wear some skinny jeans with a fab boot? or my Hunter wellies?or with a fabulous pair of stilettos? or a cute ballet flat? AHHH all you skinny bitches out there flaunting your small calves and toned thighs. I hate you, I hate you all.
# 3 Crossing your legs
Now, I REALLY never thought twice about this one until I was fat... fat people cant cross their legs. Crazy right??? If you have never noticed it before, pay attention and you will see it all the time now. We have to sit like men :-( I can't wait for the day that I can sit on the subway, or at a restaurant, or in a conference room with my right leg easily drapped over my left one. 3 weeks ago I couldn't do it at all. I am proud to announce that I can officially cross my legs but its not comfy and last about a min. Soon though, very soon I will be there.. I hope.
# 4 Tank tops
Yes, fat people can wear tank tops and yes they make them in our size. But they shouldnt, and I refuse. No one wants to see your nasty arm fat. Cover that flab up. I don't want to look at my own, let alone have everyone else see it. That is exactly why I have a beautiful collection of cardigans. My friends laugh at me because of my collection and everyone knows this about me. Who wears a cardigan to a keg party in the park in the middle of summer? ME! Who wears a cardigan to the pool? ME! Who wears a cardigan over a sequin dress on NYE? Me! Whatever, get over it, I am doing you a favor!!! Want me to slap you in the face with my arm fat? Didn't think so. However, it does make the hot summer months difficult. This better be my last summer of sweaters!
# 5 Airplane seats
Nothing makes me want to lose weight more than sitting in an airplane seat for 3 hours. OH MY HOLY GOD IT IS PAINFUL!!!!!!!! Everyone has the dreaded experience of sitting next to an overweight person on a plane. Skinny people bitch and moan about it, but guess what, it is even worse for us. First of all, its embarassing. We know we don't fit but we can't afford 1st class and we can't drive across country for business meetings. We get it. Cross your stupid little legs and put your hands in your tiny little lap and go to sleep. Geez. What you don't understand is how much it hurts us physically. Two arm rests cutting into your sides, spending most of the flight hugging yourself so that your body isn't imposing on the person next to you too much. Then your back starts to hurt because you are sitting like an idiot. I DREAD cross-country flights and until I lose weight, anything international is not even an option... for my sake and the sake of the person next to me
These are just a few examples... there are plenty more but I think you get the point!
So tonight or at Thanksgiving... or whenever you say what you are grateful for... remember these things. Consider yourself lucky that you have the means and self control to not let yourself ever have to experience being fat. It ain't all its cracked up to be :-) Don't get me wrong. I love my life and have absolutely enjoyed my fat years. But I am ready to be done with them. Time to get healthy before this stuff kills me.
And the next time you want to bitch and moan to me about how fat your think you are, just know that I am not listening because if you can fly to another country while wearing your skinny jeans from the Gap and a cute tank top without a cardigan, then you aren't fat. Find someone else to annoy because if you think you are fat at a size 6, 8, or 10 then what am I? A beached whale? Screw you :-) The good news is that I will be joining your skinny club soon. But you still won't be able to complain to me. Seriously, don't even try.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Chocolate Baths & Pizza Slip'n'Slides
I hear you, I hear you! I am a horrible blogger and haven't posted anything lately.
My fans are beckoning me, and by fans I mean fan, and by fan I mean Tiff. But hey, I'LL TAKE IT! (by the way...thanks Tiff for trying to out my blog on Facebook! haha!)
Anyways, I have a good excuse for my lack of blogs. I had a really rough week, work wise. I lost a few big deals that I had been counting on. Unless you live in the world of quotas and commissions you may not understand how traumatizing it can be. My main focus was on surviving the week without eating my way through NYC. The thought crossed my mind. I pass 15 restaurants on my walk from the office to the subway. I wanted to buy 10 pizzas and make a giant slip'n'slide out of them or stop at the chocolate shop and buy enough chocolate that I could bathe in it.
Kate even sent me a picture to clarify what I was threatening to do...
My fans are beckoning me, and by fans I mean fan, and by fan I mean Tiff. But hey, I'LL TAKE IT! (by the way...thanks Tiff for trying to out my blog on Facebook! haha!)
Anyways, I have a good excuse for my lack of blogs. I had a really rough week, work wise. I lost a few big deals that I had been counting on. Unless you live in the world of quotas and commissions you may not understand how traumatizing it can be. My main focus was on surviving the week without eating my way through NYC. The thought crossed my mind. I pass 15 restaurants on my walk from the office to the subway. I wanted to buy 10 pizzas and make a giant slip'n'slide out of them or stop at the chocolate shop and buy enough chocolate that I could bathe in it.
Kate even sent me a picture to clarify what I was threatening to do...
warning: Adult Material... chocolate nudity
 |
| I wish. |
Good news is that I refrained from a pizza slip'n'slide and from a chocolate bath. In fact, I didn't cheat at all. I distracted myself. Took showers, went on walks with Penny and went to bed at like 7pm every night. Hey, don't you judge me. Desperate times call for desperate measures, people!!
So to distract myself on Sunday I decided to go see Titanic IMAX 3D with my best friend, Melissa. And it wasn't just a normal plain boring IMAX theater, it was the one at Lincoln Center which is like those old school original IMAX theaters that existed before it became all the rage. Back when only museums had them. It was SOOOO big. It was probably 5-8 times bigger than a normal movie screen. We sat dead in the middle and when looking straight you couldn't see floor, ceiling or walls... only movie screen! They did an amazing job with the 3D too. WAY better than Avatar and other 3Ds. People were actually reaching out and trying to grab things. You felt like you were on deck, at the dinner table, swimming through the water, in the submarine. It was wild. There was even an intermission! haha go figure.
However, I forgot one teeny tiny problem. Movie theater food is my arch nemisis! It calls my name. It screams to me. It assaults all my senses.
The amazing smells of salty buttery popcorn... the swirling of the icy machine... the perfect popping noise of each kernal...
The glorious colors of the candy boxes...
FAT PERSON SENSORY OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!
It is a test of true self control. It was one of the first times I went to a movie without popcorn and a giant soda. I tried to tell myself it was not the end of an era, but a start to a new one! A healthy one! One full of water bottles and almonds at the movie theater instead! Anyways my point is that I survived. It turns out that you dont die if you dont get a tub of popcorn and a giant coke! Ha, who knew?!
Melis and I ran away from the food counter with our almonds and water bottles, put on our fancy 3D glasses, got the tissues out and enjoyed a perfect Sunday afternoon at the theater!
oh and like my new header thingy? I can't figure out how to make it smaller and less in your face... sorry
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
I'm Sorry, Can You Hold On? I Have To Pee..
I am not sure if anyone has ever tried drinking 1.5 gallons of water a day, but HOLY MOLY, it aint easy.
It's not just the fact that its a TON of liquid to drink and that it requires me to always be drinking or thinking about drinking water...
but I ALWAYS have to pee!!!!!
I can tolerate dragging my lovely Camelback water bottle around with me all day (which is seriously the best water bottle EVER... worth every penny!) but now my need to pee is interrupting meetings, lunches and conference calls. Oh AND it wakes me up at night!
I use to be one of those lucky people that slept perfectly through the night. Not so much these days. Now I am like an old person... or pregnant woman... yikes.
And poor Penny girl has a fear of being abandoned and feels that she must accompany me everywhere I go, even to the bathroom. It is interrupting her sleep schedule and she doesn't appreciate it either!
GOOD NEWS THOUGH! My cravings are slowly disappearing! I can watch tv commercials for oreos again! I can walk down the frosting isle at the grocery store again! I can walk down my hall (that smells like hamburgers) today and not want to rip off my nose! S-U-C-C-E-S-S. However, I couldn't enjoy my sisters blog this morning because all I wanted to do was jump into the chocolate pie and roll around in it. Epic fail. Hey, I said they are SLOWLY disappearing, I never said I was cured of them. One step at a time people, cut me some slack! I'm trying here and this is all very new to me.
Anyways, that's about it. Lost about 5lbs so far. I keep telling myself that slow and steady wins the race but I just say that to make myself feel better. I was really hoping to lose, I don't know, maybe 50lbs this week...
oh well. Maybe next week?
Oh and guess what! I like almonds! Go figure. Still trying to slay the broccoli though. arggg
(I am fully aware that most of this post was TMI but it's my blog and I can talk about pee if I want too! hmph!)
It's not just the fact that its a TON of liquid to drink and that it requires me to always be drinking or thinking about drinking water...
but I ALWAYS have to pee!!!!!
I can tolerate dragging my lovely Camelback water bottle around with me all day (which is seriously the best water bottle EVER... worth every penny!) but now my need to pee is interrupting meetings, lunches and conference calls. Oh AND it wakes me up at night!
I use to be one of those lucky people that slept perfectly through the night. Not so much these days. Now I am like an old person... or pregnant woman... yikes.
And poor Penny girl has a fear of being abandoned and feels that she must accompany me everywhere I go, even to the bathroom. It is interrupting her sleep schedule and she doesn't appreciate it either!
GOOD NEWS THOUGH! My cravings are slowly disappearing! I can watch tv commercials for oreos again! I can walk down the frosting isle at the grocery store again! I can walk down my hall (that smells like hamburgers) today and not want to rip off my nose! S-U-C-C-E-S-S. However, I couldn't enjoy my sisters blog this morning because all I wanted to do was jump into the chocolate pie and roll around in it. Epic fail. Hey, I said they are SLOWLY disappearing, I never said I was cured of them. One step at a time people, cut me some slack! I'm trying here and this is all very new to me.
Anyways, that's about it. Lost about 5lbs so far. I keep telling myself that slow and steady wins the race but I just say that to make myself feel better. I was really hoping to lose, I don't know, maybe 50lbs this week...
oh well. Maybe next week?
Oh and guess what! I like almonds! Go figure. Still trying to slay the broccoli though. arggg
(I am fully aware that most of this post was TMI but it's my blog and I can talk about pee if I want too! hmph!)
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Penny, You're Fired.
Dear Penny, You are fired from being my own personal Hallmark card!!!!!
Last year I was trying to think of a creative way to send birthday wishes or sweet notes to people via text or Facebook, and well I quicky turned to my loyal side-kick (my Border Collie, Penny) for help. After all, isn't that what side-kicks are for?? To do all the stupid stuff you don't want to do? To look like a fool so that you don't have to? To be loving and loyal and never ask questions or say no?
So I turned Penny into my own personal Hallmark card. Duh.
In the beginning it worked sooo well!
It all started to go down hill after Ian's birthday. Turns out Penny didn't really appreciate being forced into wearing signs...hmph!
Penny started to rebel against wearing signs! She refused to sit and would only stand and walk around trying to hide from me. It took me 30 pics to get this one. Luckily it was enough to motivate Melissa and I'd like to think we were a crucial part to her marathon success.
She got to the point that she wouldn't even stand up or let me put the sign around her!!! She just lays there with a look that says "muhaha now how are you going to hang your stupid little sign on me!?!"
I showed her! I just started to prop signs up against her! I WIN!
However, this morning I started to make a sign and well, look for yourself....
"Maybe if I hide under here she won't find me and make me where that horrible sign!"
"Maybe if I play dead she will just give up and wear her own sign!"
"My last attempt, I will just eat the sign and then she will give up for sure!"
Well, this is official notice to the world. I am officially firing my side-kick. She has become insubordinate. She ate my sign. So rude.
Marissa - 4 Penny - 1
Why can't I have these dogs?? They are AWESOME side-kicks and perfect Hallmark cards!
Last year I was trying to think of a creative way to send birthday wishes or sweet notes to people via text or Facebook, and well I quicky turned to my loyal side-kick (my Border Collie, Penny) for help. After all, isn't that what side-kicks are for?? To do all the stupid stuff you don't want to do? To look like a fool so that you don't have to? To be loving and loyal and never ask questions or say no?
So I turned Penny into my own personal Hallmark card. Duh.
In the beginning it worked sooo well!
 |
| I think is was the best birthday card Ian has ever recieved! |
It all started to go down hill after Ian's birthday. Turns out Penny didn't really appreciate being forced into wearing signs...hmph!
 |
| Took a loooong time to explain to Penny how far a marathon is and that Melissa REALLY needed a supportive sign! |
 |
| Ian got a job after 9 months of being unemployeed, and if that doesn't deserve a sign, then what does?? |
I showed her! I just started to prop signs up against her! I WIN!
However, this morning I started to make a sign and well, look for yourself....
 |
"Maybe if I hide under here she won't find me and make me where that horrible sign!"
"Maybe if I play dead she will just give up and wear her own sign!"
"My last attempt, I will just eat the sign and then she will give up for sure!"
Well, this is official notice to the world. I am officially firing my side-kick. She has become insubordinate. She ate my sign. So rude.
Marissa - 4 Penny - 1
Why can't I have these dogs?? They are AWESOME side-kicks and perfect Hallmark cards!
Monday, April 16, 2012
When In Doubt...Lie!
I knew today would be rough. I had it coming. Self inflicted pain. I must pay for my sins, my yummy yummy delicious chocolate covered or ranch dipped sins.
I made the crucial mistake of not lying to my personal trainer. I had a moment of clarity and honesty and it was the dumbest thing I have ever done. When your personal trainer asks you what you ate while on a business trip and if you exercised... LIE!! Had a few too many glasses of wine? lie. Enjoyed an amazing brownie sundae at dinner because skinny people ordered it? lie. Couldn't resist going to Chick-fil-a because they don't exist in NJ? lie. Didn't get to exercise that one night because you were too busy playing video games with a cute engineer at Dave&Busters? lie.
LIE. LIE. LIE. When in doubt, LIE!! Or pay for it... like I did. To date, it is top on my list of biggest regrets.
Not only did my PT kick my ass for an hour straight (seriously, we scared some girl out of the gym)... but she wouldn't let me complain about it :-( Helllllllo, have you met my family? We are nothing if not drama queens! It's how we roll. Otherwise I have to scream "GIVE ME ATTENTION", and well, that screams desperation. Survival of the fittest bitches.
Oh and have I mentioned that she sent me my meal program for the week and my grocery list?
Um... excuse me but how am I going to survive on this??!?! I thought we could maybe just start weaning me off wings and burgers and d'lish food like that. But cold turkey? Is this really the best way!? There must be a different way! Who do I talk about this? I need to send someone a strongly worded email.
I think it goes without saying that I am going to be in a FOUL mood by Thursday. I suggest everyone just stay clear of me. Luckily I am an urban hermit and will suffer in silence (unless you are my mom or sister who will get daily calls of complaining).
Oh and good news. I lost a pound last week. Not life changing BUT I was just happy that I didn't gain 10lbs.
I'll take it.
This Treasure has already started to shrink! ekkkk
I made the crucial mistake of not lying to my personal trainer. I had a moment of clarity and honesty and it was the dumbest thing I have ever done. When your personal trainer asks you what you ate while on a business trip and if you exercised... LIE!! Had a few too many glasses of wine? lie. Enjoyed an amazing brownie sundae at dinner because skinny people ordered it? lie. Couldn't resist going to Chick-fil-a because they don't exist in NJ? lie. Didn't get to exercise that one night because you were too busy playing video games with a cute engineer at Dave&Busters? lie.
LIE. LIE. LIE. When in doubt, LIE!! Or pay for it... like I did. To date, it is top on my list of biggest regrets.
Not only did my PT kick my ass for an hour straight (seriously, we scared some girl out of the gym)... but she wouldn't let me complain about it :-( Helllllllo, have you met my family? We are nothing if not drama queens! It's how we roll. Otherwise I have to scream "GIVE ME ATTENTION", and well, that screams desperation. Survival of the fittest bitches.
Oh and have I mentioned that she sent me my meal program for the week and my grocery list?
Um... excuse me but how am I going to survive on this??!?! I thought we could maybe just start weaning me off wings and burgers and d'lish food like that. But cold turkey? Is this really the best way!? There must be a different way! Who do I talk about this? I need to send someone a strongly worded email.
I think it goes without saying that I am going to be in a FOUL mood by Thursday. I suggest everyone just stay clear of me. Luckily I am an urban hermit and will suffer in silence (unless you are my mom or sister who will get daily calls of complaining).
Oh and good news. I lost a pound last week. Not life changing BUT I was just happy that I didn't gain 10lbs.
I'll take it.
This Treasure has already started to shrink! ekkkk
Friday, April 13, 2012
Me vs. Wild
This is my life.
Well at least it has been for the last 4 days.
How did this happen?
How did I get myself into a career that involves me spending a week learning about Cloud Computing and Major Market Trends?!?
Luckily I am a nerd and I love it BUT it isn't helping me lose any freaking weight!! This career revolves around wining and dining and you never want to be the one not participating. SEE! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!
Anyways, to make things a little more fun for us, my fearless leader decided to take us out to Dave & Busters and make us do a team building exercise. Oye. Sounds dreadful right? WRONG! Ok, everyone hated it but true to form, I lovvvved it! It was a survivor exercise. The scenario was that my team's helicopter crashed in the middle of a blizzard on Mt. Rainer and they gave us a list of 12 things that we had on board, and had to list them in order of importance.
So I should explain that I am the only woman on my NY/NJ team and I am the youngest by about 15 years. They come to me for celebrity gossip, fashion help, advice about their teenagers and to talk about trashy tv... not exactly the most important topics. However, I explained to them that I watch A TON of "SurviorMan", "I Shouldn't Be Alive" and "Man vs. Wild". If that doesnt make me practically a survivor expert, then what does? Oh and hellllllllo, I've read The Hunger Games twice, geeze. "Trust me guys, I will save us and get us off this mountain!" I proudly announced. But nooooo, lets not take Marissa's advice, lets take the advice of the 2 people that live on the Upper West Side. "Um guys, navigating the NYC subway system in the concrete jungle doesn't count. YOU ARE GOING TO KILL US!!!"
So we did our individual ranking of the 12 objects and then we worked as a team and had to do a team ranking. Like I said, no one listened to me and none of my rankings matched up. Then my fearless leader announced the correct rankings and guess what!! I got every single one correct on my individual ranking!!!!!!! My team of course didn't get any correct. We died.
So this week I was suppose to learn about cloud computing and major market trends, but the one thing I really learned was that if I ever get stuck in the mountains with my team, I am going to kill them all and save myself because they really just drag me down. Don't worry, I will be humane about it. Kill them in their sleep or something?
I think its fair to say that "survivor skills" and "first aid" have been added to the list of "Things We Go To Marissa For" :-)
Bad news though, I ate SHIT all week. Every bite was d'lish and I enjoyed every moment. Back to reality tomorrow and back to getting my ass kicked by my PT. She is going to be SOOOOO mad at me. I'll be shaking in my running shoes on Monday morning.
Well at least it has been for the last 4 days.
How did this happen?
How did I get myself into a career that involves me spending a week learning about Cloud Computing and Major Market Trends?!?
Luckily I am a nerd and I love it BUT it isn't helping me lose any freaking weight!! This career revolves around wining and dining and you never want to be the one not participating. SEE! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!
Anyways, to make things a little more fun for us, my fearless leader decided to take us out to Dave & Busters and make us do a team building exercise. Oye. Sounds dreadful right? WRONG! Ok, everyone hated it but true to form, I lovvvved it! It was a survivor exercise. The scenario was that my team's helicopter crashed in the middle of a blizzard on Mt. Rainer and they gave us a list of 12 things that we had on board, and had to list them in order of importance.
So I should explain that I am the only woman on my NY/NJ team and I am the youngest by about 15 years. They come to me for celebrity gossip, fashion help, advice about their teenagers and to talk about trashy tv... not exactly the most important topics. However, I explained to them that I watch A TON of "SurviorMan", "I Shouldn't Be Alive" and "Man vs. Wild". If that doesnt make me practically a survivor expert, then what does? Oh and hellllllllo, I've read The Hunger Games twice, geeze. "Trust me guys, I will save us and get us off this mountain!" I proudly announced. But nooooo, lets not take Marissa's advice, lets take the advice of the 2 people that live on the Upper West Side. "Um guys, navigating the NYC subway system in the concrete jungle doesn't count. YOU ARE GOING TO KILL US!!!"
So we did our individual ranking of the 12 objects and then we worked as a team and had to do a team ranking. Like I said, no one listened to me and none of my rankings matched up. Then my fearless leader announced the correct rankings and guess what!! I got every single one correct on my individual ranking!!!!!!! My team of course didn't get any correct. We died.
So this week I was suppose to learn about cloud computing and major market trends, but the one thing I really learned was that if I ever get stuck in the mountains with my team, I am going to kill them all and save myself because they really just drag me down. Don't worry, I will be humane about it. Kill them in their sleep or something?
I think its fair to say that "survivor skills" and "first aid" have been added to the list of "Things We Go To Marissa For" :-)
Bad news though, I ate SHIT all week. Every bite was d'lish and I enjoyed every moment. Back to reality tomorrow and back to getting my ass kicked by my PT. She is going to be SOOOOO mad at me. I'll be shaking in my running shoes on Monday morning.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
I Hate My Sister.
Ok, ok, I don't really hate my sister... its just that she is the one making me do this blog and well, to be honest, I hate blogs.
Let this be a warning, I don't read blogs and sure as hell had no intention of EVER writing one so I'm not sure if I am doing this right!
So if this sucks...IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I SELL FIREWALLS AND ROUTERS! I AM NOT A WRITER! It is also not my fault if there are spelling and grammar issues, like I said, I'm in Sales, I am not a teacher (or any other profession that requires a knowledge of proper english), oh, and another reason there could be possible spelling mistakes is because OH MY HOLY GOD MY BODY HURTS. My ENTIRE body, serioiusly every inch, it even hurts to type this, so I can't be held responsible for spelling mistakes, it hurts to much to hit the "delete" button.
I know what you are saying out there... "Marissa has finally lost it, she is 100% crazy, what the hell is she talking about? Since when is having your entire body is pain an excuse for poor spelling? And what on God's green earth has she done to make every inch of her hurt so badly? What a freak". Considering this is what my blog is going to be about, I guess it is time to fill you in. Shall I explain?
My name is Marissa and I am fat. Since some people are uncomfortable with that term let me see if I can find a term everyone is comfortable with... overweight, chubby, big girl, plus sized, portly, stocky, well insulated (my personal fav), tubby, obese, gordita (for my latin readers), fleshy, ect...
No matter how you spin it, I need to lose weight, and I am not talking about like 10lbs. I am talking about SERIOUS weight. All you skinny bitches out there that bitch and moan about wanting to lose 10lbs or wanting to just "tighten up" can suck it, because I am about to lose the weight equivalant to you! Ugh, I hate you all.
Anyhooo, I have hired myself a personal trainer 3 days a week and she scares the living daylights out of me. She aint messing around yall. She does not appreciate a full figured woman and is on a one-woman mission to rid this earth of over-weight people... starting with me. YIKES!
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| This is my PT. Scary right?!?! ahh (I stole this pic off her website, I hope I don't get sued! ekk!) |
She won, I lost. Epic fail. I have a feeling she will win every time until I am skinny. Luckily for her, I am okay losing these battles as long as I lose weight at the same time. And well, that is what this blog is for... to document what I assume will be a funny and hopefully entertaining journey to become a super hot, stunningly beautiful, shrunken Treasure.
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